The Good

My husband, Stan, and I met ten years ago. Ten years ago I never would have dreamed that getting the little family we always imagined would be so painful and so difficult (not to mention expensive!).

We were married in July of 2004. A week after the wedding we moved to L.A. so that I could attend grad school. The whole time I thought I was doing the right thing by continuting on birth control. After all, I was, and am still, convinced that our 500 sq. ft., one bedroom apartment was only big enough for the three of us: me, Stan and my books! Where in the world would we have put a baby?! It was the right thing to do... or so I thought.

I certainly had friends, and they had friends, who had babies while we were all finishing our Masters degrees. They would say, "There's no such thing as a 'good' time. You'll always be able to find a reason not to do it." I still thought they were crazy. "There will be a good time." I thought. "This just isn't it."

During my last year in grad school we stopped all methods of birth control and we were officially, "trying." And try we would, for four years. I guess I assumed that as soon as we stopped the pills and made and effort, it would just "happen." I had absolutely no idea that this was how it was going to go.

In the meantime we moved from California to Georgia. We continued "trying," but never really gave much thought to just how long it seemed to be taking to get pregnant. Now that we've moved back home, have bought a house and seem "settled," we long to take that next step. I don't think either of us could've guessed that step would seem quite so difficult.

I don't know why you're reading this blog. Whether you're going through this same process and are looking for someone to identify with or you just "happened" upon our little story - I hope that something, anything, you read might be helpful. Selfishly I'm hoping this blog, for me, is therapeutic. That in some way I might feel less alone, less like I'm charting new territory. I hope that if this journey at all resonates with you that you'll read, comment and keep reading and commenting.