Out of the Dust

Music has been a huge part of my life.  I began taking violin lessons at the age of 3.  My parents signed me up for a community children's chorus at 4.  At 13 I began taking private voice lessons.  And at 16 began winning local, state, and regional competitions.  Music has been a huge part of my life.

I am fortunate to have a husband who also loves music.  When I first met him he owned close to 300 CDs and about half as many albums on tape.  I love the way we influence each other's taste in music.  I like to think I've introduced him to the world of classical music, and he has introduced me to... well, all kinds of things.  One of my husband's cool quarks is that he always seems to be "up" on any new music.  I have NO idea where he has all the time to find this stuff, but anytime I think I've heard of some new artist or song he always says, "Oh, yeah, I know!"  And then rambles off a bunch of facts about that "new" artist or song.

One of the things I've always found truly magical about music is the eerie way total strangers seems to be able to write a soundtrack to your life.  Taylor Swift has found a niche in this way with teens - she's almost a master at the craft - not to mention an outstanding singer/songwriter.  There are, I'm sure, thousands of examples of this sort of thing, and they're all different and unique based on each individual's experience.  But how amazing that even when an artist writes a lyric based on their story, their very words strike so close to our own stories.

There are two songs that play practically on endless repeat for me right now, that even though I know they weren't written for me, they speak straight to my heart.  One of those songs is Home, by new artist, and recent American Idol winner, Phillip Phillips, for obvious reasons if you've ever heard it (and if you haven't - get it on iTunes!  You won't regret it)  The other is by a Christian group, Gungor.  I heard them (and this song, actually!) for the first time in Atlanta in 2010.  I was instantly struck at the uniqueness of their sound, and adored how they used more than your 'average' instruments.  I've loved their song, Beautiful Things, from the very moment I heard it in an arena with 15,000 other people.  Today, I love it in a new way.

All this pain, I wonder if I'll ever find my way.
I wonder if my life could really change at all.
All this earth.  Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?

You make beautiful things.  You make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things.  You make beautiful things out of us.

All around, hope is springing up from this old ground.
Out of chaos, life is being found in You.

There are not enough words in the english language to describe how awful it is to be told you are asking for a miracle to have your own children.  Heartbroken.  Devastated.  Sad.  Angry.  Bitter.  Envious.  Lost.  How would we ever find out way out of this desert where where felt like not one single person understood what we were going through - what we were feeling?  I wonder if I'll ever find my way.  I wonder if my life could really change at all.  Could all that is lost ever be found?

We lived in this lonely, dusty desert for a long time.  Sure, we made progress with our agency and our home study, put furniture up in a nursery.  But it all still rings hollow when you don't know when, or even if, your family will ever really feel whole.

Could a garden come up from this ground at all?  When we heard about this little girl in Russia it was like we could finally see the hope we trusted was there all along, but was difficult to see through the dust storm that stings your eyes and covers your heart.  All around hope is springing up from this old ground... life is being found in You.  Like crocus leaves that push through dark spring soil, with each passing day we grow ever more hopeful.  The process is certainly slow, but God makes beautiful things... out of Dust.

Out of dust, and brokenness, and bitterness, and pain, so much pain, is God making an incredible family.  God is making a beautiful family out of the dust... out of us.

Heartbroken

Dear friends, far and wide,

It is with deep sadness that we learn that President Putin has announced he intends to sign the ban on intercountry adoptions from Russia to the United States.  The would include our adoption of Alissa.

We are simply heartbroken.  Heartbroken for our little girl.  Heartbroken for ourselves.  Heartbroken for our countries - that we have been unable to address our differences courageously, honestly, and with integrity.

We do not know what our next steps are.  With the holidays here in the United States it is difficult to get ahold of anyone.  We will keep you informed if and when we know anything different than what we know today.

Today we can only ask for your prayers.

We pray simply that the Spirit would stir in a loving family to care for this little girl we hope could still be ours - to take her home and give her everything she needs and more.

We pray that, as with all countries, that both the United States and Russia would awaken to the reality that we are a global society.  Even the smallest acts have implications for others.  We pray that every leader in every country could come to this awareness and, despite ideological differences, work for the good of all people everywhere.

We pray for all children without a home and without a family.  May this battle serve to awaken an awareness in all of us that this is not the way we are meant to live, and may that stir us to action.

We thank you for your continued prayers, and words of support and encouragement, they are like gold to us right now, and we treasure them.

Waiting...

There's not much to write today.  The New York Times is reporting that the upper legislative house of Russian Parliament voted unanimously to pass the ban on adoptions to the United States.  We are, of course, heartbroken.  Now we can only wait, and pray, that President Putin will not sign the bill, either in its current state, or at all.  We are so desperate to bring Alissa home, and are just sick that it may not be a possibility any more.  We so deeply feel that she was meant to be a part of our family.  The waiting is paralyzing.  As we have throughout this process we covet your prayers and positive thoughts.  As you pray for us, we also ask that you pray for Alissa, that if she is not to be ours, that some other, wonderful family will take her home and give her the life every child deserves.  Please also pray for President Putin, that his ultimate decision on this matter be guided by what is best for children, and not politics, and that he can see that not all American parents are horrible - most of us are simply trying to create our jamaa (our God-given family), the family we couldn't create on our own. Thank you, all of you, for your continued vigilance and support during this incredibly sensitive time.

No Words

Word has reached us that the upper house of Russian Parliament has indeed passed the ban on intercountry adoptions to the United States.  There are no words to express our sadness and desperation.  This is not yet the end, President Putin must still sign it, but the speed with which this has passed is stunning.  Our agency, as well as the National Council For Adoption are still working to see what they can do.  Our hearts still try to remain hopeful that perhaps we'll still be able to get our little girl home before this new law goes into effect.  The US and Russia only just signed an agreement regarding adoptions that went into effect in November!  All we can do now is pray that they will allow this current agreement to stand before enacting the ban.

I don't have much else to say.  I'm heartbroken.  Please pray for us, and for this little girl.

Dear President Putin

Dear President Putin,

I cannot even begin to imagine the incredible challenge of being charged with leading an entire country of people.  The weight of the enormity of your decisions must be a great burden to bear.  It takes leaders with clarity of mind, great wisdom and broad vision to make great countries.  It takes even greater leaders to bring countries together to work for a greater global society.   You have been just such a leader, at many different opportunities.  Today I beg you to be that leader once again.

When my husband and I met twelve years ago, we had both dedicated our lives to the service of children.  My husband has more than 15 years of experience in ministry to teenagers and young adults. I have a college degree in elementary education, and have spent the last 8 years in ministry to children.  Two years ago, after struggling for a very long time to have our own family, our doctors finally told us we were asking for a 'miracle.'  It was going to be impossible for us to have our own children.  As a father yourself, I'm sure you can understand how devastated we were.  With heavy, yet hopeful hearts, we began the process of adopting a child from within the United States.  After waiting a very long time with no progress, we once again became very discouraged.  That's when we completely, and unexpectedly, had our hearts stolen by a little girl... in Russia.

Through a network of friends and agencies we learned about a little girl in your country who needs a forever family.  Because of her special needs I'm sure many families shy away from considering calling her their own.  We are not one of those families.  I am not lying when I say that from the moment we heard about her we felt that she was meant for us, and we for her.  We understand her special needs and are not afraid of them.  Additionally, we are fortunate to have excellent heath care coverage that will cover all her needs as she grows up.  In short, we feel that we can provide the kind of loving, caring, supportive home I am certain you desire for every Russian child.

Surely we cannot know every nuance in the present situation that has left your Parliament feeling that it must ban all adoptions to the United States.  I'm sure there are more factors at play here than anyone can understand.  But I beg you, Mr. President, please do not close this door.  Please do not take away the dream of a wonderful family for children in Russia and parents with empty arms in the United States.  Please do not punish us all for the transgressions and mistakes of a few.  There are many of us who are simply enchanted with your country, and plan to raise our children with the full knowledge of where they came from, and honor the traditions and culture of your country- we feel this is important for any child, no matter where they were born.  In fact, we have already purchased books about Russia for the little girl we hope and pray will be our daughter, and are even trying to learn some Russian ourselves, so that we might honor the country that gave us the gift for which we have been praying so long.  We also hope that, as she grows up, we might bring this little girl back to Russia to visit and see the great country where she spent the first part of her life.

We do not pretend to know your burden, Mr. President.  The burden of making the right decision for your people.  The burden of making the decision that is popular, and doesn't distance you from your fellow lawmakers.  The great burden of making the decision that doesn't create great distance between your country and others.  But just as others in your country do not share the same opinion as the lower house of Parliament, so too do not all Americans always share the same opinion with our legislators.    However, we do know, Mr. President, that there are thousands of loving, caring, amazing families all over the United States whose dreams of having a family hang in the balance over this decision.  I am sorry for the offense of the Magnitsky Act.  But you must know, surely you must know, that this legislation does not reflect that attitudes of all Americans.  And there must be some other way for Russia to express its deep dissatisfaction with this law without dashing the hopes and dreams of families just like us, and children just like Alissa - the little girl who we are so hopeful will be ours.

We have been in constant vigil, Mr. President, over this decision.  Our prayers have been first for this little girl we hope will be our daughter, that she might know that half a world away is a family who is fighting so hard for her and is loving her every second of every day.  We pray for all children in Russia waiting for a family.  We pray for Russia's law makers, that their hearts might not be hardened against all Americans, and that they might find a more congruent way to express their frustration with the decisions of our legislature.  And finally, Mr. President, we pray for you.  For clarity of mind, for wisdom, for compassion, and for courage to do the right thing for every life involved in this decision.

Respectfully,
The Letschers

Not Good News

Well, I just read a Tweet from the New York Times that Russia has passed the first vote to ban adoptions to America. The law must still be passed by an upper house of legislature as well as the President. Read the article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/20/world/europe/russia-votes-to-ban-all-adoptions-by-americans.html?partner=rss&emc=rss&smid=tw-nytimes&_r=0

It is not too late to email our President, Senators and Congresspersons. It is also not too late to pray. We will be in fervent prayer for mercy from Russian political leaders, and wisdom for both governments as things proceed.

An Open Letter to all United States Legislators

Dear President Obama, US Senators and Congresspersons:

I am writing to alert you to an urgent concern regarding adoption. Congress recently passed the Sergei Magnitsky Rule of Law Accountability Act and President Obama signing into law on December 14, 2012.

In response, Russia's legislature, is considering legislation this week that is being referred to as the Dima Yakovlev Law, named after a Russian-born child who died in the care of his adoptive parents. This law would ban from visiting Russia anyone involved in the case of Dima Yakovlev or other Russian born adopted children who died in the United States. What is of most urgent concern is that a recent amendment to this law would also end Intercountry Adoption between Russian and the United States. I believe it is absolutely important to protect the rights of every child and there should be a measured response to the death of each of these children. We mourn the loss of these Russian-born children with the Russians as they were also dear to us as American children. However, it is important to note that these children are a tiny minority. Many thousands of Russian born children have been adopted and thrived in the love and care of their American families. If intercountry adoption between Russia and the United States were to close, many thousands of children would likely languish in orphanages instead of finding their way to safe, loving, permanent families in the United States.

Now, let me tell you our story, we have tried desperately for years to have our own family.  Two years ago, after medications and countless tests, our doctors told us we were “asking for a miracle.”  We believe that miracle is a little girl in Russia – and now we need to bring her home, to her family. If intercountry adoption between Russia and the United States closes, our little girl, and thousands of other children like her will not be able to find their way to the many U.S. families willing and waiting to call them their own.

Please, we beg you, contact President Putin of Russia and ask him not to allow this amendment to become part of Russian law. U.S. diplomacy at this time is essential to save the lives of many young Russians waiting for a family of their own.




Respectfully,

The Letschers

Friday's Vote in Russian Parliament

Those of you I've run into today have asked me what's going on with the vote in Parliament on Friday. Here is the press release from the National Council For Adoption.

Russian Parliament Proposes Ban in Retaliation for the Magnitsky Act; International Politicking Would Force Orphaned Children to Pay the Price

December 18, 2012 – Alexandria, VA – Legislation has been introduced in the Russian Parliament that would ban intercountry adoptions with the United States.

This radical amendment to the Dima Yakovlev Law was proposed as retaliation against U.S. passage of the Sergei Magnitsky Rule of Law Accountability Act, a bill that imposes sanctions against Russian officials perceived by the U.S. to be guilty of human rights violations in Russia. Among the sanctions is a prohibition on Russian criminals visiting the United States.

This threatened ban on intercountry adoption comes after years of discussion between Russia and the United States to address areas of needed reform, strengthen protections and increase accountability, and better serve adopted children and adoptive families. Recent negotiations resulted in a bilateral agreement between Russia and the U.S., which went into effect on November 1, 2012.

“Orphaned children could become collateral damage in this round of international politicking,” says Chuck Johnson, president and CEO of the National Council For Adoption. “The proposed Russian amendment is a punitive, excessive, and highly unfortunate reaction to a U.S. policy that has absolutely nothing to do with intercountry adoption. The opposition of some Russian politicians to the Magnitsky Act, which prevents Russian human rights violators from entering the U.S., should not threaten the possibility of adoption for orphaned and vulnerable Russian children. NCFA and other U.S. adoption advocates are pleading with Russian officials to do the right thing for the more than 700,000 children currently living in institutions in Russia who deserve loving families of their own.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin, while displeased with the Magnitsky Law, promised an “adequate and not excessive” response. “Banning intercountry adoption is excessive,” says Johnson. “Russian orphans are counting on their President to hear their voices.”

## # 

While we have no interest in engaging in such politicking, we are very anxious about Friday's vote.  We absolutely respect Parliament's right to do what they feel is in the best interest of their citizens, however we also deeply desire that they consider the children this will directly affect, especially our our little girl. Last night I emailed both Iowa Senators, all our Congressional Representatives for whom I was able to find an email form, and the President of the United States.  I will post that email next, and, if you have time, I would ask that everyone please copy and forward it to their Congresspersons - and the President, too!  The more voices they hear from, the better our chances at avoiding this cataclysmic disaster.

Prayer Requests

Dearest friends, far and wide, we desperately need prayer tonight for three specific things:

1) For patience.  Not simply the opportunity for patience, 'cause let's be honest, that's already here.  But literally for a spirit of patience.  This is so, so, so very hard.  We are so ready for our family to be complete.  We've been ready.  And the uncertainty and lack of clarity are more heart-wrenching than I can adequately express.  At times (like right now) it is physically painful.  So, if we may be so bold, we ask that you pray a spirit of patience upon us, and upon all who are working so diligently to bring our jamaa into being.

2) For wisdom for the Russian Parliament.  We received word today that in response to legislation that was passed here in the U. S., the Russian Parliament is seeking to ban all intercountry adoptions to the United States.  They will vote this Friday, December 21st.  There are 700,000 orphans in Russia waiting for their families - our Alissa is one of them, and we want her home.  We understand that all governments must do what they feel is in the best interest of their people.  But we also pray that while they make those decisions on behalf of their fellow citizens, they do so with the realization that we are all a part of a global society.

And finally,
3) For clarity on the requirements we must complete for our dossier, and that those requirements may be met without further hardship or difficulty.

I am humbled and amazed at the scope that our little blog has reached - we have readers all over the world!  We feel so blessed to know that others are telling our story, and we are so grateful for your companionship on this journey that can be so very lonely.  We will never be able to thank you enough for your prayers and positive thoughts.  Believe me, they work.

We Love Our Donors!

Words simply cannot express how thankful we are for the following individuals, families, and businesses.  You all are our heroes, and we cannot ever thank you enough for your incredible generosity.

Chad Gammon
Teri and Kris Voyna
Sarah Wilson from Simply Sarah's Stuff (http://www.etsy.com/shop/Dremnstar)
Tom and Allyson Kendrick
Connie Purchase
Marcie Watson
Linda Hunt from Edge Salon (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Edge-salon-and-sun-spa/278851042150007)
Jason and Linda Hunt from Roscoe's Pizza (http://roscoespizza.com)
Heather Wagner from Heather Wagner Designs (https://www.facebook.com/heatherwagnerdesigns)
Abby Flores from Itsy Bitsy Bums (https://itsybitsybums.3dcartstores.com)
Kristin Hoffman Peavler
Mark Scheibe from Hitting the Mark Entertainment (www.hittingthemarkdj.com)
Maggie Campbell from Campbell Raw Press (www.brooklynbookbinder.com)
Wendy Jo Cox
Amber Hanford from A Cookie Family, (https://www.facebook.com/acookiefamily)
Tim Stolba
The Comfort Makers at First Lutheran Church
Nova Kolander
Dan Kolander
Paula Keesy from My Cousin Made It (https://www.facebook.com/mycousinmadeit)
Nick and Allie Lapointe, local Iowa recording artists
Richard Bruxvoort Colligan, from The River's Voice, local Iowa recording artist
The entire Kolander family
Marlene Johnson
Theatre Cedar Rapids (www.theatrecr.org)
Marie Rivers Rule
Ryan Koester from Wells Fargo Advisors
Sherrie Ilg with Pampered Chef
Prairiewoods Franciscan Spirituality Center (www.prairiewoods.org)
Noodles and Company, Cedar Rapids
David Drewelow from ActionCoach USA (www.actioncoach.com/daviddrewelow)
PetCo, Cedar Rapids
Starbucks, Cedar Rapids (1st Avenue and Collins Road)
Mary Kay Grodt
Panera, Cedar Rapids (Council St. and Collins Road)


If you would like to donate, we won't say "no!"  To donate items for our silent auction, please email us: marissaletscher@gmail.com.  If you would like to donate directly to the fund, please use our PayPal account link on the right, or you can send a check made to First Lutheran Church with "Letscher Adoption" in the memo line to: 1000 3rd Ave SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52403.

Good News!

I don't have much to report today, but there is one HUGE piece of good news.  We recieved word late last night that the region our little girl is in WILL accept our home study with a few additions!!!  This is fantastic news!  I know many of you have been praying specifically about this and I just want to thank everyone for your constant prayers and positive thoughts.  They are working!  So keep it up, and I will continue to keep you posted on our progress.

Home

If you've never heard this song, you need to go to iTunes right now and buy it.  It's fantastic.  The lyrics have meant so much to us during all of this.  I wish I could tell Mr. Phillips how this song has helped us keep pushing forward... for our little girl... for her home.

HOME
by Phillip Phillips

Hold on to me as we go.
As we roll down this unfamiliar road.
And although this wave is stringing us along,
Just know you're know alone.
'Cause I'm going to make this place your home.

Settle down, it'll all be clear.
Don't pay no mind to the demons,
They fill you with fear.
The trouble it might drag you down,
If you get lost, you can always be found.

Just know you're not alone,
'Cause I'm going to make this place your home.

Wish You Were Here

Dear Baby girl,

In America, we have a humorous saying that is frequently scrawled across pictures of tropical vacation escapes, or scenic views along well-travelled highways; that saying is "Wish You Were Here!"  That saying has taken on new meaning for your daddy and me, we wish you were here.

All the stores in town, our house, and even your bedroom have already been decorated for Christmas.  Do you celebrate Christmas where you are?  Have you ever seen or heard of Santa?  Do you have a stocking hung somewhere with your name on it?  Here you have all those things - things every child should have.  We wish you were here.

Tomorrow your daddy and I are going to see the Nutcracker, a ballet written and choreographed in Russia!  Have you ever heard the story of the Nutcracker?  Do you know what a ballerina is?  Have you ever heard music by Tchaikovsky?  Next year we will take you to The Nutcracker, and you can dream of being a ballerina - if that's what you want.  We wish you were here.

On Sunday we're going to celebrate your Grandpa's birthday.  Do you celebrate your birthday in Russia?  Have you ever had a birthday cake all your own?  Or blown out birthday candles?  Have you ever opened presents?  Put a bow on your head after ripping it off a gift?  We will do all of those things with you.  We wish you were here.

In order to bring you home there is SO MUCH to be done.  I wish you knew how many people already love you without ever having met you.  Our family and friends are working so hard to help us bring you home.

I wish you knew how excited everyone is to greet you.

I wish you were here.


Love,
Mommy

Financing A Way Home

One of the reasons we didn't consider an international adoption from the get-go was the drastic increase in costs.  As a cash-only household, we have been relying on a family loan to fund an adoption, and therefore we pursued a domestic adoption, which generally occur with much lower costs.  That was, of course, until we heard about Alissa.

It's hard to describe to someone who may not have ever experienced this process, but we are absolutely convinced that this little girl is for us, and we are for her.  Now we need to bring her home.

We were not anticipating a cost this large.  Then again, we were not anticipating to have our hearts stolen!  We feel that we are very much behind-the-ball, as we now need to work as quickly as we can to secure the funds to adopt her.  Here is our financial picture as it looks today:

FEES:
Placing agency ................................ $33,000
Travel Expenses .............................. $10,150+
      - Airfare: approx. $7000 ($1,000/person per trip, need 3 trips; plus $1,000 for Alissa's flight home)
      - Accommodations: approx. $2,100 (staying in hostels with free breakfast)
        1st trip) 5-7 days, stay in hostel 6 nights = $600
        2nd trip) 5 days, stay in hostel 4 nights = $400
        3rd trip) 10-11 days, stay in hostel 10 nights = $1,000
     - Food: $1,150 (planning $25/person per day)
Post Placement Visits ...................... $800
         Total Fees: $43,950

DISCOUNTS & LOANS:
Placing agency possible discount ..... $3,000
Placing agency possible loan ............ $7,500 (@ 3%/ 5 years)
         Total Fees minus possible discounts and loans: $33,450

CASH ON HAND:
Family loan account .................... approx. $15,000 (this is a family loan we will need to repay)


BALANCE REMAINING: $18,450

We also learned this week that Stan will have to be away from work, unpaid, for our three trips to Russia.  He does not earn vacation until March, and Paternity leave will be unpaid leave.  This adds an additional expense of approximately $1,500.

OUR FUNDRAISING GOAL: $20,000

We have applied for a few grants, and we pray daily that God would provide in that way.  However, we also realize that there is no guarantee that we'll be awarded those grants, as there are many people applying for those same funds.

If you feel called to help us bring our dream home from Russia, in any way, we will never be able to thank you enough.  You can donate by simply clicking the "Help Bring Alissa Home!" button on the right side of every page of this blog.  From the bottom of our hearts we thank you for helping us bring our little girl home.

We also appreciate any and every gift of prayer and positivity sent on our behalf.  Our arms ache to hold our little girl on the other side of the world.  We literally wait with baited breath as this situation unfolds.  We have treasured and hold close every kind and caring word that you have said to us, and hope that, soon, we will be celebrating a long-awaited welcome home!

From Russia With Love

I've been told that when you're in the process of adopting, things can either move so slowly you might as well be watching paint dry, or so fast you might get whiplash.  The latter happened to us last week.

After waiting since April of this year with an approved home study and absolutely no movement, we began to get frustrated and discouraged.  On Monday, I met a man at our Rotary Club meeting who had been conversing with my dad (also a Rotary Club member) at their table, and he mentioned that he and his wife had adopted two children from an agency in the Chicago area.  He gushed about this agency and how great their kids are.  He gave me the name of his agency and his business card and I thanked him for the suggestion - never really putting much hope in now trying to connect to an additional agency and having anything come of it.

The next day, Tuesday, I thought I'd take a chance and email the person at the agency who was in charge of domestic adoptions - as we currently only have an approved domestic home study.  First thing Wednesday morning I had an email in my inbox from the founder of the agency asking me to call - she had options!  Immediately I picked up the phone and began the most encouraging conversation I've had in this entire process.  She was amazing.  And then she suggested something I never would have anticipated.  Would we consider an international adoption?  And would we be open to adopting a child who is HIV+?

Quite honestly we had sort of put away the idea of adopting internationally because of the tremendous cost - more than double what we were planning to pay for a domestic adoption with our agency in town.  The thought of an international adoption had never really re-entered our minds. As we continued to talk, she told me about a little girl in Russia, desperately in need of a loving, accepting home.  I don't think I'll ever be able to explain the overwhelming feeling I had in that moment. In that moment we felt only pure love and concern for this little girl, thousands of miles away, waiting for her parents.  In a true out-of-body moment I heard myself say to the social worker, "I would have to check with my husband, but yes, I think we would definitely be interested!"  We would?!  Holy CRAP!  We agreed that I would check with my husband about this new surprise, and get back in touch.  In the meantime she would contact the placing agency and get more details and possibly some pictures.

Well, I called my husband.  He didn't even hesitate.  It was like, of course we would consider it - how could we not?!  (My husband is awesome - by the way.  I'll admit I have some pretty outlandish ideas every once in a while - but this was a doozy.  He didn't even flinch.  Ah-mazing.)  The more we talked about it, the more the Spirit seemed to move in both of us, and the more we felt like we were being called to this little girl - that she was for us, and we were for her.

On Friday the placing agency sent us some pictures.  Is it strange that someone half a world away can look just like you?  She does.  She looks just like me.

Now is the hard part.  The part of finding the financial and logistical pathways to bringing her home.  I know that not everyone can help in a financial way, so I will put our financial outline in another post.  But everyone can PRAY.  If, however, you are able to help support us, we invite you to check out this post and, as you are able and feel led to do so, you can contribute to our From Russia With Love fund.  One hundred percent of the funds raised will go directly to our expenses, which we anticipate to be more than $46,000.

We are more excited than ever that this little girl has been placed in our path and in our hearts.  We will be posting more when there is more to say, so stay tuned!  And thanks, as always, for joining us as we travel this jamaa journey!

Valentine's Day Luck?

I know, I know.  I've been horribly negligent in actually keeping this thing updated.  So!  Here's where we are:

We completed our MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory) testing and review.  Turns out we're not crazy.  Just crazy enough!  Actually, I'm so impressed (and a little creeped out!) at how accurate these kinds of test are - when you're HONEST with the test! The analysis that was done by the agency's psychologist was really thorough - and correct.  We both had great conversations with our social worker and have felt so, so positive about this whole experience.  Our social worker is really outsanding.  She's knowledgable, professional, approachable and is so easy to talk to.  We've be thoroughly impressed.

Our Home Visit is today!  Wahoo!  We've been working really hard in the baby's room, buying furniture (and assembling it - thanks IKEA!), buying artwork and other wall decorations and all manner of baby-preparation-type things.  That sounds odd.  Anyway, I really have no idea what to expect this afternoon, but I promise to actually update this blog after our appointment this afternoon.

As always, thank you all for your support!  Your prayers and well-wishes are so encouraging.  This has been a difficult journey, and I simply cannot express to you how your coming alongside of us has made all the difference in the world.  We love and cherish you all!

Dear Birth Parent(s)

Dear birth parent(s),


My goodness, where to begin? Perhaps with a little story.

Thirty-two years ago a birth mother and birth father made a most difficult, and yet most loving, decision to allow their baby girl to be called “daughter” by a wonderful man and woman. This new, adoptive mother and father have loved that baby girl with everything they have. As she grew up she always knew how two people had made an incredible sacrifice so that she could have the kind of life they dreamed for her. She also grew to be deeply thankful, for the birth parents who made a brave choice for her, and for the family into which she was placed, that shaped her into the woman she is today.

About the same time a young man was growing up in his family, with his mother, father, sister, and two brothers, one biological, and one adopted. He, too, grew-up understanding how much love families have to share, and what a wonderful gift it is to be able to share that love with a child who needs a family.

Twelve years ago, on a beautiful, shimmering summer afternoon, this man and woman met and fell deeply in love. They had so much in common: they both worked with children and teens, loved to watch movies, play games, hike, travel and all kinds of other things. They dated for several years before marrying and couldn’t wait to start a family, though they knew it would be while since the woman was in graduate school and their tiny, 500 square foot, Los Angeles apartment was barely big enough for the two of them! When life became more settled for the couple they tried to start a family. They endured years of heartache and pain from not conceiving on their own. They will never forget the day their doctors told them they were asking for a miracle to have their own family. That was a very dark day. Finally, with the loving support of family and friends, they gave up all the medical testing, the medicines and tears, and chose to pursue their God-given family through adoption.

That brings us to today, to you, and to us. We cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling at this moment. Scared? Lonely? Afraid? Overwhelmed? Yet, we hope you also know just what an amazing thing you are doing. YOU could be our ‘miracle’ - the one we couldn’t have on our own, and yet so deeply yearn for in the most tender places of our hearts. I am certain this cannot be easy for you – as I’m sure it wasn’t for the woman who gave birth to me. And while I do not know her name, and never got to tell her thank you for the incredible miracle she gave to my parents, we can, and do, thank you for the selflessness you have shown by taking this step toward adoption.

We look forward to meeting you – our miracle-worker!



With love and admiration,

Stan and Marissa

Pregnant With Hope

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year.  When I was young my family and I always spent the day after Thanksgiving picking out a fresh tree, and decorating the house for the season.  As an impatient child I couldn't wait for Christmas Day.  I not only counted-down the days, I even begged my parents to allow us to open presents early!  It wasn't until I was grown and married that I began to appreciate Advent.  And yet I still don't think I've realized the full power of this season.
Yesterday was the first Sunday in Advent.  As I sat in the pew at worship and perused the bulletin I noticed a section describing our Advent Wednesday activities and one particular phrase caught my attention... and my heart.  It said, "Advent (or "coming") marks a season of preparation as we prepare our hearts... to receive again the gift of the Christ child.  It is a time when we are 'pregnant with hope.'"  Pregnant with hope.  In an instant I found the phrase that describes exactly what I'm feeling, that has been so very difficult to describe to those who have no experience with the long, emotional journey of adoption.  But before I go further into that, I have to take a little tangent.
Our first interview with our social worker was today.  Naturally she asked us why we've chosen to adopt.  We retold the heartbreaking story of our struggles to concieve our own children and the painful conversation with the urology nurse wherein we were told that we were 'asking for a miracle.'  (Surprisingly this story becomes less and less painful to tell each time we tell it.  Even more surprising, I think, is how natural, albeit frustrating, this process has become to us.  In a way it simply must be, for this is the only way we will get our 'jamaa,' our God-given family.)  As we were recounting doctors visits and numerous procedures and prescriptions, she asked if we were 'okay' with all of this.  To which I responded with what I wrote in this blog back in February regarding grief.  Is any adoptive mother ever really 'over' grief?  Who's to say?  I do not imagine that even after finalizing an adoption, there isn't even the smallest part of an adoptive mother that doesn't feel just a tinge of sadness at not experiencing one of the most incredible things our bodies were designed for.  However, us adoptive mommies get to experience the growth and birth of our babies in a way that no other mother could ever understand - one that grows so intensly in our hearts.  Anyway, as a result of our interview today we were able to take a HUGE step forward in this process and our 'jamaa' feels more and more like a reality.
So back to Advent.  During this season words like coming, waiting, promise, and hope hang in the air.  I know I'm far from being Mary and our baby certainly isn't the Christ child... but I can't help feeling that this Advent was created for us.  To teach us to not only be okay with the waiting, but to find joy, hope, peace and holy anticipation in this waiting.  Our jamaa is coming.  A great and gracious gift is coming to us and, like Mary, I find myself whispering, "God, who is mighty, has done great things for me, and Holy is God's name."  Alleluia!

First Interview!

Got an email from our social worker this afternoon - our first interview is one week from today!!  I have no idea what they'll ask or what we'll discuss, but I am EXCITED!!  I also can't help but wonder... what would happen if everyone had to be interviewed before having children?  Hmmmmmm.
Anyway, as always we appreciate your prayers and good thoughts as this all starts to get real.  We thank you all for reading and supporting us as we work so hard to bring Baby Letscher home.

Papers Are In!

Well, on Monday we turned-in probably a 50-page application packet that included: two sets of fingerprints, two multi-page autobiographies (with more personal information than I usually care to share with complete strangers, but whaddaya do?), one 8-10 page application, singed payment agreements, financial disclosures, a copy of our taxes, a copy of our marriage certificate, releases for criminal background checks, three cheques and all of my blood, sweat and tears from the last 6 months!  Baaaaah!  Now I'm trying to decide when to begin to panic that I have yet to even recieve a phone call from our social worker that our packet has been recieved and we're ready for the first steps. 
I'm trying to still keep my excitement in-check.  I don't want to get too excited because even after home studies and all kinds of jumping through other hoops our application could still be denied, we could not get a placement or all kinds of other derailments.  On the other hand, it's hard not to really want to start getting 'serious.' The other day my mom and I were at a certain discount department store and found a lion costume for an infant that was on clearance for $1!  As we are both Gustavus grads we found it impossible to resist buying it with the hope that soon we'll be able to have a "Little Gustie" to put in it!  Ha!!
Anyway, for those of you who want to know where we are in the process, the answer is... we're still waiting.  I have a feeling we're going to be doing a LOT of that.  And the skill we will now need to seek is how to turn that waiting into some sort of spiritual practice!
Will post again when we hear any news from the agency.  Thank you all for your continued support and prayers!