Music has been a huge part of my life. I began taking violin lessons at the age of 3. My parents signed me up for a community children's chorus at 4. At 13 I began taking private voice lessons. And at 16 began winning local, state, and regional competitions. Music has been a huge part of my life.
I am fortunate to have a husband who also loves music. When I first met him he owned close to 300 CDs and about half as many albums on tape. I love the way we influence each other's taste in music. I like to think I've introduced him to the world of classical music, and he has introduced me to... well, all kinds of things. One of my husband's cool quarks is that he always seems to be "up" on any new music. I have NO idea where he has all the time to find this stuff, but anytime I think I've heard of some new artist or song he always says, "Oh, yeah, I know!" And then rambles off a bunch of facts about that "new" artist or song.
One of the things I've always found truly magical about music is the eerie way total strangers seems to be able to write a soundtrack to your life. Taylor Swift has found a niche in this way with teens - she's almost a master at the craft - not to mention an outstanding singer/songwriter. There are, I'm sure, thousands of examples of this sort of thing, and they're all different and unique based on each individual's experience. But how amazing that even when an artist writes a lyric based on their story, their very words strike so close to our own stories.
There are two songs that play practically on endless repeat for me right now, that even though I know they weren't written for me, they speak straight to my heart. One of those songs is Home, by new artist, and recent American Idol winner, Phillip Phillips, for obvious reasons if you've ever heard it (and if you haven't - get it on iTunes! You won't regret it) The other is by a Christian group, Gungor. I heard them (and this song, actually!) for the first time in Atlanta in 2010. I was instantly struck at the uniqueness of their sound, and adored how they used more than your 'average' instruments. I've loved their song, Beautiful Things, from the very moment I heard it in an arena with 15,000 other people. Today, I love it in a new way.
All this pain, I wonder if I'll ever find my way.
I wonder if my life could really change at all.
All this earth. Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?
You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of us.
All around, hope is springing up from this old ground.
Out of chaos, life is being found in You.
There are not enough words in the english language to describe how awful it is to be told you are asking for a miracle to have your own children. Heartbroken. Devastated. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Envious. Lost. How would we ever find out way out of this desert where where felt like not one single person understood what we were going through - what we were feeling? I wonder if I'll ever find my way. I wonder if my life could really change at all. Could all that is lost ever be found?
We lived in this lonely, dusty desert for a long time. Sure, we made progress with our agency and our home study, put furniture up in a nursery. But it all still rings hollow when you don't know when, or even if, your family will ever really feel whole.
Could a garden come up from this ground at all? When we heard about this little girl in Russia it was like we could finally see the hope we trusted was there all along, but was difficult to see through the dust storm that stings your eyes and covers your heart. All around hope is springing up from this old ground... life is being found in You. Like crocus leaves that push through dark spring soil, with each passing day we grow ever more hopeful. The process is certainly slow, but God makes beautiful things... out of Dust.
Out of dust, and brokenness, and bitterness, and pain, so much pain, is God making an incredible family. God is making a beautiful family out of the dust... out of us.
